Changes in 7 months: I never want to be an annoying drunk again!

My friend and I arrived in Reno and I texted a friend to meet up. My local friend suggested a brewery to watch and listen to some music. We picked a meeting time.

I said to the friend I am traveling with “I am not sure if this guy knows I quit drinking.” I was not really worried. We have met up about once a year the past 7 years and catch up on each other’s lives over drinks. I don’t think he has ever seen me drunk. I was not worry about telling him I am now sober. I, also, was not gonna walk in and make a big production of it. “Hi, nice to see you again.  I am a recovering alcoholic. How have you been?” I just mentioned I did not know if he knew.

My friend started coming up with a bunch of excuses. “Tell him you are pregnant. You aren’t drinking so you can drive me. Tell him you are on medication.”

I was not planning on telling any lies. I would rather be honest with my friend. The way my friend was coming up with excuses made me think he assumes I am ashamed of my problem. But also reminded me of the way I was back in January when I thought of quitting. I got ideas from the book Living Sober Sucks and made my own list of lies. I kept wanting to come up with a medical excuse and use medical jargon to confuse people. It is amazing how in 7 months I now would rather be honest than lie.

Well, mostly, honest. If I do not know the people well or they are co-workers, I just tell them I got tired of drinking. That is the truth but I do no go into details of my disease.

We met up with my friend. He was sitting outside on the patio with some friends. I was starved. But of course the waitress always asks for the drink orders first. Since it was a brewery, it had mostly craft beers. Yet they did have non-alcoholic St Pauli’s Girl on the menu. I giggled and ordered that. I was actually glad I did because it took asking her three times to bring me water for her to do so.  Beer was served quickly. And my burger was quick. My travel friend did not order any food.

I was tired from being on the road the last few days. I was about to tell me friend we should ask for the bill when he ordered his third beer.  I was not really annoyed that he ordered another but I was calculating his irresponsibility. 1) He did not eat before drinking. And 2) he usually drinks Budweiser and lower alcohol beer and here he was drinking craftbeers with slightly higher alcohol content.

After he finished and we left, his intoxication started to annoy me. At first, just little things bothered me like insisting on being right about topics. But what really pissed me off was when  he pissed by the car in the upper level parking garage after I parked the car. Not by a tree or bush even. On the concrete! I was livid. “Why didn’t you do that at the brewery!” He said he didn’t have to go then. Even though just before getting there, he was complaining he had to go. We were in the parking garage! He could have run into the hotel if he had to go that bad. I told him that is such a trashy thing to do. I felt like I was hanging out with such an idiotic drunk. I grabbed my luggage and quickly walked to the hotel. It was so embarrassing. So third world. And I know he is going to go back home and tell his friends that I am a bitch, or controlling, or annoying, or that I flip out easily when tired. I would rather be all that than a drunk!

Mistake 207- I was in Vegas many years ago and met a guy. We were drunk and making out in a casino late at night.  We were near a slot machine when we were getting hot and heavy. I took him to my room. My friend that was staying with me was not there. She was out eating. When she returned, I made her stay in the hallway while he and I had sex.

Mistake 208- Next morning, I realized my wallet was missing. I got upset and assumed I dropped it somewhere in the night. The guy I met kept insisting that I go to security. I thought that was hopeless but I did anyway. Luckily, they had my wallet. (With about $500 in it.) I had to describe what it looked like to get it back. The security guy said “we found it by the slot machines.” That was how I remembered the guy and I getting hot and heavy by the slots. I was so embarrassed. Of course Vegas casinos have security cameras everywhere. A guard must have watched us kissing and groping and anything else we were drunk enough to do in public. Then someone came in to save my wallet when we took off for my room.

Mistake 209- Later that day, after more drinking, a co-worker, that was with me when I met the guy, texted me to see if the “loser” was still with me. I was upset that she called him a loser. So I replied back that he and I decided to get married. This turned into a lot more texts back and forth of her trying to talk me out of it. She called me later and my friend in my room answered to say I was at the chapel. It was a funny, drunk joke until I got back home and my manager called me into her office. She was concerned that I married a man I just met in Vegas. I explained to her it was just a joke that got out of hand. She said she was worried I must have been on drugs at the time. Maybe if I did get married while drunk, I would have been ordered to rehab ten years ago.

 

Responsibility

Have you heard about this story:

Man sues casino for getting him drunk

I laughed. I shouldn’t have. But I did. I thought “only in America would someone try to avoid responsibility and sue for their mistake.”

Yes, the casino should not have served someone who was visibly drunk. I always wonder what is “visibly drunk”. I have had blackouts that shocked friends because I “seemed fine”. They have let me drive because I was walking and talking okay. They tell me they did not know how drunk I was until I started swerving the car. I guess I was good at faking sobriety.

This guy lost money because the casino kept serving him alcohol. I want to yell “IT IS VEGAS! It is riskier than a minefield”. He has a $250,000 Mercedes-Benz. He was a regular in Vegas. He lost the money and then went to another casino, but that place was warned not to do business with him. (Was he going to try to win back the money there?) Plus, he admits he is on prescriptions that increases intoxication but the casino host is liable because he knew about the medication. To me, it sounds like a case of a sore loser who needs to get help instead of a lawsuit. If he wins this, I hope the judge will force him into rehab for alcoholism and gambling. I think this guy needs to take responsibility that his addictions are not the casino’s fault.

I have used “I was drunk” as my excuse to avoid responsiblity so much. That drunk sex did not count. I spent a lot of money but I will just work extra to make up for it.  I did not mean what I said. Sorry I lost my camera with my sister’s 30th birthday photos. I was drunk and whoever found it is an asshole for not posting it on Craigslist Lost and Found. Only jerks take advantage of drunk people.

Now I have to take responsibility for my sobriety. Am I finally an adult now?

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So many mistakes from trips to Vegas. Here are a few:

Mistakes #54, 55, 56, 57, 58, &59- I booked a trip to Vegas for a friend’s birthday. I invited a female friend from California to meet us there. I booked a room at the Flamingo because that was where Birthday Boy would be staying. A week before the trip, he told me his boyfriend dumped him and he couldn’t afford Vegas now. He canceled his trip. Then a few days before, my friend in California got sick and did not think she could join. Screw it. I was still going. I would enjoy Vegas alone.

I remember it was December. My first night, I spent time at the bar playing Blackjack on a machine. I played too much because the bartender kept flirting. Before bed, I decided to get photos of the Christmas tree across the street at Caesar’s palace. A cute guy was walking by as I was taking photos. I pointed at him and said  “YOU are not American.” He was startled. He stopped, apologized for not being American, and introduced himself. He was French. I tried to explain I did not know why I said that but I guess his fashion sense or hair or something suggested my observation. Maybe it was drunk powers. I asked if he wanted to join me for a drink. He was on his way back to his hotel but accepted my offer. It was about 2am.

Christmas tree in front of Caesar's

Christmas tree in front of Caesar’s

We drank in the casino and chatted. I must have been telling him things I liked about Vegas because we walked to the Venetian. He said he was impressed with the beauty. Then said some line about the beauty of the casino and me. He kissed me. We ended up at his hotel. I think he was staying at the Stratosphere. I remember going on the Speed Ride at the Sahara Hotel on my way back to my hotel the next morning. I remember still being drunk when I went on the ride.

The Venetian

The Venetian

I booked tickets for a few shows for the weekend. First, I thought “what would be a very Vegas thing to do?” Tom Jones was in town. I thought it would not be unusual to see him. I booked a seat for his show on Friday night. Then I reserved a ticket for Thunder Down Under on Saturday. It would have been more fun with gay guys but I would enjoy watching the Aussie male dancers by myself.

The Tom Jones concert was fun It was at the MGM Casino. The audience were at tables with four seats around each. I found myself seated with to three, young Canadians. They were in their twenties. Two girls and one guy. The four of us got along and had a great time. The one girl had a pair of underwear in her purse that she ran down to the front to throw on stage. We all went to a bar after the concert. We had a lot of drinks there. The Canadians eventually said goodnight and went back to their hotel. I tried to encourage them to stay out later. I asked about meeting up again the next day. They left without giving me contact information. Maybe I was an annoying drunk to them?

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I went back to the Flamingo and slept all day. I woke up for dinner and another night of drinking. The next night was horrible.

I do not remember where I ate. But I must have drunk a lot with dinner. I remember planning to take the monorail drunk but I was getting frustrated because it was not arriving fast enough. I had to get down to Excalibur for the Thunder Down Under show. I gave up waiting for the tram and went back through the casino to get a taxi. Then I bitched at the taxi driver for not going fast enough.

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I was a little late for the show. I had a good seat at a table in front. I do not remember any of the show. I was trashed. And I kept ordering more drinks. I have a photo of me with the dancers after the show. I think you can get one for $15. I look so sloshed in this photo. I am squatting in front of them with my arms spread wide in front of me like I am saying “TA-DA!”

After that show, I decided going to the nightclub Pure in Caesars Palace would be fun. Get some dancing in before going back to my room. I remember waiting in line and chatting with everyone else waiting. I kept running across to the closest bar for more rum and Diet Cokes while waiting. I think we waited an hour. (It could have been 15 minutes.) I can not believe I was still functioning and standing. I was so drunk at the male revue show. They still let me in the club. I do not remember anything inside except I met a very tall, Latino guy. He was a local.

Most of the rest of the night is a complete blur but I recollect bits of it. I ended up back at his apartment. But I decided I did not want to have sex. I do not know what happened but I started to get upset. I screamed and yelled at him “DON’T TOUCH ME!” He kicked me out.

I had no idea where I was. I could see the hotels and casinos on the strip but I could not figure out how to get there. I was crying and walking towards the lights. I lost my phone. Before I did, I called and left a very depressing message on my sister’s voicemail. It scared her. I remember seeing a shuttle van for a casino that must have been off duty but there was a driver in it with his window down. I ran over, howling, asking if this guy could give me a ride to my hotel. He started to roll up his window to avoid the hysterical, wasted woman. I grabbed money out of my wallet and started wailing “I have money! I can pay you! PLEASE!!!!” He drove away.

I must have dropped a lot of that money. I remember having a stash of hundreds in my hands I was trying to shove through that van’s window. I did not have it the next day. I think I lost $600-$800. Lost it. Not gambled it.

I walked back to the strip most of the way. I cried and screamed into the air the whole time. I can remember screaming “I WANT TO DIE!” I decided to start walking in the middle of the road hoping a car would hit me. I don’t remember if there was a median or just lines in between the different directions. I remember the road I was walking on went over I-15. Maybe I was on Flamingo Road? I remember cars honking their horns and people yelling “get out of the road!” I am sure there were a lot of insults shouted too.

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One car pulled over in the middle. I now think maybe there is a flat, median in the middle of the road? I think he parked his car there. He got out and tried to help me. I screamed at him. I kept accusing him, this total stranger trying to help me, of trying to rape me. He somehow calmed me down and got me into his car. He stayed outside to prove to me he wasn’t trying to drive me anywhere. He called the cops.

A female cop arrived. She gave me a ride the rest of the way to my hotel. She told me she has seen a lot of horrible things in Vegas. I kept saying I hated men. She told me not to trust men in Vegas.

I slept the whole next day. My flight was very late at night. I kept extending my check out time and paying extra. I told the front desk I was ill and I needed more rest.

A few days later, I got a phone call from that man who saved me. I think his name was Alex. To whoever he was, thanks.

And thank gods I did not walk to the edge of that road and jump over onto I-15.

Drunk sex with a stranger. Drunk and annoying strangers. Drunk show I don’t remember. Drunk and dangerous situation in an apartment. Drunk dropping money. And drunk deathwalk. 6 regretful drunk mistakes all in three days.