Friends with benefits and booze

A friend started emailing me Sunday morning at 6am. I just happened to wake up early that day. I asked if he was still up from the night before. He replied that he has not made it home yet from the night. I guessed correctly that he was drunk. He wanted to know when I would be in town next. I answered and then asked “don’t you have a girlfriend?” He does.

I am not sure if he was drunk flirting or just being friendly. I am not sure if he saw I was online and not many of his other friends were up at 6am. But we used to be “friends with benefits” when I lived in his area. After I moved away, I used to get messages from him “I miss you.” The last message before this Sunday, I told him to stop drunk emailing me because “it will never happen again.” I was probably drunk when I messaged him with that and meant I will never sleep with him again. He and I both knew that I most likely would if I was drunk enough.

Mistake 118- When I first met him, I did not like him. I thought he was weird and annoying. We met through other friends at a festival. I thought he was immature and I avoided him.

After I lived there for a few months and I saw him at a lot more parties, we started to get along. Not close but he was part of the group I partied with.

He began to date a girl that was quiet. Later, I found out she did not believe in gay marriage rights. His best friend was a lesbian. I asked him how could he date someone that did not believe his best friend deserved the same rights as them. He said she was really religious and nothing he could do about it. I started to refer to her as the Homophobe.

One morning, I woke up in his bed. I was horrified. I even said “No! Please tell me this did not happen!” But it did. He admitted he should not have been driving because he was so drunk. But he offered me a ride from whatever party we were at and we ended up having sex. He cheated on the Homophobe. I felt guilty but also like I beat her in some invisible contest. But I told him it would never happen again.

The Homophobe soon dumped him. She claimed he partied too much. He and I began hanging out at bars more. And we began having sex more often. He stayed over my place a few times and was always late for work when he did. A few of our friends suspected it but no one said anything.

Once, I brought up the topic of us starting a relationship. He said “with me? I don’t think we could have a relationship.” I asked why not. Am I too old? He said “honestly? Yes.” I am 9 years older than him. And he said he was still in love with Homophobe.

I moved away a few months later. He now has a different girlfriend. One I never met. I just do not know why he is drunk messaging me.

Another guy that thought I was good enough as drinking buddy and sex friend, but not good enough for something serious.