Hello 2016

A quick hello to everyone. I am still here. Still sober. Doing good. I was busy for a few months studying for a certification for my job and just passed the test! And now I registered to start matriculating  classes this semester!  Which means I am more on track with my life than last time when I was just taking online classes to try to boost my GPA. (Hint that idea doesn’t work if the school doesn’t take any of those credits.)

I will get around to writing a more in depth entry soon. Or someday. I hope everyone following is having a good year so far and staying sober.

Sober at the Party

I went to a party last night. It was a costume party. Again, I loved seeing all the creativity and beautiful outfits people made. And I loved the music!  I was reminded that if the DJ is good, I can dance without alcohol or drugs.

I arrived 11:30pm. I thought that was a good time. My friend said she would arrive the same time. I waited. And waited. I walked around a lot and texted a friend. I felt like a loser on my phone at a party. I had a hard time trying to find people I knew because I wasn’t wearing my glasses and everyone was in costumes. A lot of people had masks, wigs, or just looked different. Feeling aline made me want to drink. If I had a few and got tipsy, I wouldn’t mind the waiting and I would have the courage to talk to strangers.

My friend showed up with her friends close to 130am. And she was trashed. It was so annoying. She kept telling me wonderful things about myself and how good I look since I got sober. Her slurring made me even happier to be sober than her compliments. I kept apologizing to people as she pushed through the dance crowd. At least she is a friendly drunk. She hugged a lot of people and told them all how beautiful they are.

I left at 3:30am. We had plans for a dinner cruise with friends today. We were supposed to arrive between 3:30 and 4:30. It is now almost 5pm and she has not even responded to my messages. My guess is she is still sleeping away her hangover. She most likely will miss the boat leaving the dock. I guess I better try to meet some peope.

SMART Chat

I popped into the chat room on the SMART website. I liked it, even though they were all talking music lessons.  It felt old school. I used to be in a similar chat 2007 to 2009 for travelers. I used to go into that chat room drunk a lot. I plan to check out this chat more often but I am headed to bed now.

If you find yourself bored and want to pop into the chatroom, look for me on there as k365.

REBT

REBT: Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

It is recognized as the first form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). Many of the tools and techniques that SMART use come from CBT.

I find it interesting and helpful that a lot of the REBT therapy sounds a lot like Buddhism. How we think influences how we feel which influences how we act. Many of our problems seem to start with how we react to life’s events.

You may have used an addictive behavior to deal with irrational thoughts and excessive emotions. We call this the “using strategy” for coping with discomfort. Somehow, we adopted the unrealistic belief that life should be free from discomfort and pain, and that we shouldn’t have to tolerate it. This unhelpful belief leads to further distress, which drives the urge to engage in addictive behavior to escape the discomfort.

I was supposed to go to a meditation group tonight but I took a nap instead. I have been napping a lot lately. Maybe I need vitamins. I hope to get to yoga tomorrow.  But at least I am sober.

It is funny that I don’t like my new “sobriety date”. I would have rather kept the original in January, or even after my first slip right after Memorial day. Or even right after Burning Man and I could celebrate a new year of sobriety every year the Man burns. But now mid-Oct seems blah. I feel like I am cheating if I celebrate it in January,  but I still feel that is my real date. That was when I decided to start a new life, even though I still remember not being so sure about it.

I might not celebrate Jan 20th as 2 years mostly-sober.  I might. I will see how far I get in this SMART therapy to decide.

Women for Sobriety

I was reading an article (can’t remember which one now) about other programs that help people stay sober besides AA. I find a lot of these articles on The Fix website. I follow it on Facebook. I recommend it to everyone who is struggling with an addiction and likes to read.

I came across a website Women For Sobriety.  I submitted to join last week but I am just getting around to exploring the site today. It is interesting. It is a forum for women only to discuss our struggle and support each other. The first thing I came across while reading introductions was 13 affirmations that should be said each day. (I guess I should have read it in an “about” section first but I was skipping ahead. ) I really like these and plan to say them daily. For as long as I remember to. Actually, I might print them out and put them on my bathroom mirror.

1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.  I now take charge of my life and my disease. I accept the responsibility.

2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.  My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life.

3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.  Happiness is created, not waited for.

4.  Problems bother me only to the degree that I permit them to.

5. I am what I think.  I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.

6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.  Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.

7. Love can change the course of my world.  Caring becomes all important.

8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.  Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.

9. The past is gone forever.  No longer will I be victimized by the past, I am a new person.

10. All love given returns.  I will learn to know that others love me.

11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.  I treasure all moments of my new life.

12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.  This is what I am and I shall know it always.

13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.  I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.

Enjoy!