I am more nervous this year. Maybe it is because last year, I had 7 months of sobriety before I headed out to Black Rock City. I had more confidence.
This time, I will only be 90 days sober after a slip. I feel weaker. I know I am capable of slipping again. I even had a dream last night that I decided to give up sobriety for a week and drink moderately. When I woke up, scenes of getting mad at bartenders cutting me off came to my mind.
I can’t do it. I can not drink moderately. Alcohol is a poison that makes me crave more. This has nothing to do with secretly drinking out there and/or just trying to fit in. If I drink, I might not stop until I blackout. And then I might do something horrible, dangerous, or die.
I plan to go to an AA meeting in Reno the night before I go out to the playa. Then I will hit as many meetings as I can at Anonymous Village. I even plan to set up a tent at their camp in case I need to get away from my camp. I am picking up tonic water and teas and lots of juices for my week out there.
That dream scared me. Maybe I need to read through my whole blog before I go as a reminder. Maybe bring my Big Book to read out there.
I will check back to share how I survived my 2nd sober Burning Man.
Let’s do it – take with you some balance and resilience and you’ll be fine.
Bren
Definitely take your Big Book. Even if you don’t read it it’s there. I think I’d find comfort in that and just a little bit of a connection to the better life I lead now, sober. Have a great time!
Wow, Burning Man…it’s a desire of mine to attend, but I don’t trust myself (I have seven months sober, but I don’t know if I could do it with seven years). Find others like yourself at the Anonymous Village, find time for self-care, and you’ll be OK. I bet you come back with amazing insights and stories.
There’s a book that introduces a technique that gives you a shot of willpower against drinking daily. It’s to do with setting your life up so drinking becomes more painful than not drinking.
I found it on Amazon 9 days ago, and I’m 8 days sober.
It’s called ‘How to stop or control your drinking habit in 30 minutes’ by John Bleck and it’s currently free. It’s a very short read and I’d recommend it to anyone who worries they will falter.
John.