It has taken me a few days to admit this to anyone. But I slipped last week while on vacation. Then again a few days later. One mojito turned to 6 beers, a rum and coke, and a daiquiri. (I was always a rum girl.) I am not gonna get into the details right now but I made more mistakes, like lost a favorite dress and sex with a stranger. (There goes that abstinence too.)
I have been going to 1 or 2 meetings a day since I have been back. I got a number of a sponsor and I have been texting her. I just got another number after hearing a woman speak tonight. I am going away next week and already plan to attend meetings while gone. I am going to read the Big Book. I am going to work the steps finally. AA is not the only way but hopefully it will be the way I need. May 26, 2015 is my new sobreity date.
I am adding a P to the recovery acronym H.A.L.T.
And it stands for Prozac.
I forgot to take my Prozac pill this morning. I am not sure if that is part of my problem this afternoon or not. Ever since I got my prescription increased, I have been more senstive to the side effects. I was nauseous the first few days and my appetite decreased.
Today, I am feeling the rest of HALT: hungry, angry, lonely and tired. I rushed out to a doctors appointment after not much sleep only to forget my wallet. I ran home to get it, returned to the doctor, and then find out they do not take my insurance. (Thanks a lot Zocdoc for messing that up!) I called another doctor and can’t be seen for a month. It is for my eyes, so not an emergency, but still frustrating.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream! I wanted to grab a beer.
Instead, I grabbed a bagel and coffee. I am gonna go home and take my Prozac. Then I am gonna go see some friends to combat the loneliness. And tonight I am going to bed early!
The bagel is already working. Take that PHALT!