Often, unhappiness can come because of fear of the unknown, fear of the future. Sometimes we just need to face down that fear to understand that even though we have a right to be concerned, our fear is out of proportion to reality. For instance, we are often terrified of taking risks because if we fail, we feel the consequences will be dire. Or we are unhappy in the course our lives have taken us, but the fear of the unknown is more frightening than living an unhappy life. In reality, there are few things worse than living an unhappy life.
–To Hold The Sun by Chas Watkins
I picked up this book cause I thought it was about diving in Roatan, Hondurus. It seems to actually be about a man’s philosophy and how to enjoy this journey of life. It is a short book and I hope to finish it tonight. And a lot of it sticks out to me regarding sobriety and my struggles.
The quote reminds me of how scared I was last year. I feared getting sober even though drinking was not making me happy. I was frightened of life without beer and wine. Sobriety was unknown. AA meetings had foreign language. What would happen to my social life? What if I can’t do it? What if I fail? Will sobriety be worth it?
And now that I took the “risk” of going sober, I can say it is worth it. I am happier. I don’t have to fear discovering what I did in a blackout. I don’t have to drive home worrying if I will get pulled over and a DUI. I have less fear of the future. I am proud of myself more than almost any other achievement. (Except bungy jumping. That might have been more harder to do than quitting alcohol.)
If you are trying to go sober, take the risk of this new way of life. Don’t let fear hold you back. The active alcoholic life is a lot scarier.