No cure. No end.

So I made it to a year.
I feel I crossed the finish line.
I get a big, blue ribbon.
No more worries about alcohol.
All that sober training paid off.
I am officially a winner.

Not exactly.
I must not forget I am an alcoholic.  I always will be one. This struggle will never end. I will never be able to safely drink alcohol like a normal person. I am diseased forever. But as long as I do the one simple thing of avoiding alcohol, I can live a great life.

Ok, it is not that simple.

I admit there is a tiny part of me that looks at glasses of beer or bottles of wine and think “you have abstain for a year.  Just one drink will be okay.” I don’t think those thoughts will ever go away. Maybe each milestone will make me think that. Or each holiday or celebration. I need to keep up this life-long battle against booze. Maybe I need to go to a meeting.

5 thoughts on “No cure. No end.

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