I was looking in the mirror earlier and admiring my eyes. The more I looked at them, the more I felt blessed to have pretty, green eyes. Wrinkles and all, I love my eyes.

Okay I do not love my dark circles. Can’t be perfect.

I am happy I am finally finding things about myself to like.  Things to appreciate. I spent so much of my life with bloodshot eyes from hangovers. Tired eyes from partying. Wet eyes from crying.

I chatted with an ex last night. It made me think of all the relationships I ruined with my drinking and low self-esteem. When they say you need to love yourself before another can love you, it is very true. I told her it is a shame because at my age, it seems harder to find someone not damaged. I know I come with enough baggage I could fill a train car. A few train cars. I am finally learning to love myself but it feels most people worth loving are taken by now. My ex told me she is planning to propose to her girlfriend.

Mistake 250- I went to a party and got super drunk off beer and shots of Jaeger.  I passed out as soon as I got home. I did not take my contacts out. When I tried to take them out the next day, I scratched my cornea. It was extremely painful. I had to go to the emergency room. They put morphine drops in my eye to stop the pain. Then they prescribed antibiotics and an eye patch until the scratch healed. I still went out with the patch on and got drunk again.