Mini Meltdown

I thought a good night’s sleep would help. I did feel better when I woke up but the tears began again. I wrote an apology email to the woman who I bombarded last night with nasty messages about the hotel key. I showered again. But I could not get out of the funk I was in. I went to breakfast and almost cried in my coffee. I returned to my room to nap until check-out but could not sleep.

I found an AA meeting instead. And it helped. The topic was “character defects.” It was a “tagging” meeting where people chose the next person to share. I am usually so scared of being picked but was relieved when I was asked to be the 3rd person to share. I vented about my meltdown and said “being too emotional” and “overreacting” were two of my defects. It felt good. Everyone cheered that I poured those beers down the drain last night. It felt good to talk to people who understood even if I never see them again.

I downloaded some guided mediation apps. I am going camping again and hope to find time to try using them. I have also begun my book “One Breath At A Time” about the 12 steps through a Buddhist perspective. I am trying to practice mindfulness to get in a better state. I know I need to blog about my Burning Man experience. I just feel I have so much to say about it that I want to write from my laptop, not my phone. Hope to do that after finding a hotel tonight.

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