13th Step

I went to a meeting in which I have never been. It was the last meeting of the night in the area. I haven’t been going to many lately. Actually I did not go to any while taking my online class. It was a speaker meeting. I enjoyed it. It was mostly men and two women. I was worried the women would come up afterwards to start talking. The only reason I say “worried” is because I was annoyed that they had to make little comments throughout the meeting about everything said.

After the meeting, I was trying to rush out to avoid those women, and a man approached me. I sat next to him during the meeting but never looked at him. I thought it was discouraged for men to approach women in the meetings. But I was not upset he approached me. He was very good looking. He asked if I was new and I told him I have been sober almost 6 months. He said this was a very good meeting and told me some of the topics for different nights. I told him it is hard for me to have set meetings because of my work and travel schedule. He said Thursdays were very good nights. I almost wanted to cancel my Thursday plans to be there.

I want to keep to my self-set rule of not starting a relationship until I am a year sober. Or at least not a serious one. Then again, I thought I would be living in my “dream city” by my 1st soberversary.  I did not want to start anything serious here because I will not be staying here and did not want to be persuaded to stay. And once again, I feel I am getting a head of myself due to meeting someone with beautiful eyes and a nice smile. He might not have been trying to 13th step me. He might be married. Just reaching out to someone new at the meeting.

But I look forward to running into him again at a future meeting.

Mistake 176- I was staying at a friend’s place for 2 weeks while he was out of town. He lived with a female cousin. He warned me she was a bit bitchy. I avoided her as much as possible while staying there. I stayed in my room almost all the time when home and at night I was working or out partying.

One morning, I woke up with some guy in my bed. I think he was a bike messenger. I do not know where or how I met him. I just remember trying to get him out of the apartment without the bitchy cousin seeing him. He had the stereotype bike messenger look of tattoos head to toe and cuts and bruises all over. He gave me his number which I saved only until after getting HIV negative testing done months later.

I got him out of the place without her seeing him. But she must have heard us cause my friend asked me who was my late night guest while he was gone. I made up some story about an old boyfriend or fuck buddy or something being in town. He wasn’t mad but I never asked to stay at his place again. He recently got married and I didn’t go to the wedding from fear of running into his cousin.

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2 thoughts on “13th Step

  1. The universe always knows when to send us the right people at the right time even when we have other plans in mind šŸ™‚

  2. It’s all about motives. I don’t often approach women at meetings, but I do. Especially if they seem new and not sure what to do. I try to steer them towards the other women, and then bugger off. Sometimes there are no other women, so I ask them if they are okay, etc. I am always aware of myself not trying to sound like a creeper or some 13th stepper. I don’t like the idea that we all have to be on guard (it does happen the other way, too, but not nearly as often), but then again, there are sick folks out there, even with double digit sobriety.

    As someone said (it was a woman) – when you were out at the bars, you usually knew when a guy was hitting on you. it’s the same thing here…same intuition.

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