Staying here a bit longer

My job offered to extend my contract for however long I am willing to stay. I wrote out a pro and cons list and shared it with my friends on Facebook. The one pro I did not list to share with my friends seems like one of the biggest: I got sober here and feel safe staying sober here.

I was looking forward to moving and starting over in a new place. New job. New apartment. But I would be with old party friends. And new coworkers. New environment. New stresses and worries. New AA groups.

Okay I wouldn’t mind the new AA groups since I haven’t really liked the ones in my area too much and I hate that they rarely give out chips.

But I am slightly worried what moving will do to my sobriety. At least here I am near my mom, who has gone from not understanding alcoholism to being my biggest sober supporter. She still doesn’t understand it but she knows I can not drink any alcohol. And she is thrilled every time I tell her how long I have been sober. Also, I want to spend more time with my mom. She needs my support with family issues as much as I have needed her support.

I am negotiating the contract and pay. I am excited. I might even keep staying until after Christmas. And after my 1st year of sobriety. Maybe then I can handle moving a bit better. I will be taking off 5 unpaid weeks for previous plans. The manager already told me that is fine. I like my coworkers. I like my job. This should be a good opportunity for me in so many ways.

Mistake 174- I wrote the last two days about parties I went to called Drunk Disney. Well I have a friend that I used to go to Disneyland with and we usually ended up calling the days “Drunk Disney.” We were upset the first time we went to discover no alcohol was served in Disneyland. But we learned they served it across in the other park California Adventures. And also in Downtown Disney. We would get drunk for lunch. Once, we filled a 24 ounce water bottle with white wine. It looked like electrolytes added to water. We have photos of us taking turns chugging the wine while wearing those big Mickey Mouse gloves.

Once, we got drunk and then went to some bar in Downtown Disney after the park closed. Or at least I was drunk. The bar was in the middle if the walkway. She wasn’t drinking anymore since she was driving us home. I ordered a large glass of red wine. Then I thought of going to visit the guy I was dating after she dropped me off. I texted him asking if I could come over.

His response was he “thinks we are moving too fast.” This was 2 days after he gave me spare keys to his apartment. I was hurt, confused, and mad. And my response was to drink to forget my feelings. I started ordering shots. My friend said she didn’t think that was a good idea. I lied “only one or two.” I ordered more when she went to the bathroom.

Then she started getting sweet text messages from the guy she was dating. That mad me jealous. I was basically no longer wanted by a guy and she is sharing with me that she was still wanted. I started making rude, bitchy comments. I bashed the guy she was dating. She told the bartender to cut me off. We had to leave. She had work early the next day. I was not nice to whole ride home.

Poor pity me.

We still did our Drunken Disney days and remained friends. She is one of my sober supporters now.

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