I am flying out for a small vacation this weekend. I travel a lot, so I don’t really think of this as a “vacation”. Just some days off on the other side of the country. I am going for a class reunion. I am no longer looking forward to that because the only events they planned for the weekend are golf and a brewery. Boring and boring (to a sober alcoholic.)

I am also going to visit and stay with some good friends. I had my last drink last time I visited this couple. Last time I saw their place, I woke up on their couch with my last hangover. When I last told her I shouldn’t drink because of my drinking problem, she tried to convince me I do not have a problem.  She told me to just drink a few that night. I got drunk to “prove” my problem to her.

Neither she nor her husband have commented, texted or liked anything on my Facebook when I mentioned I went sober. I created an event for my friends to make plans to see people this weekend and stated in it I quit drinking so meeting in a bar is not something I want to do. The couple still has not said anything except “are you planning to stay with us?”

I am worried they are going to be uncomfortable.  In the three years I have known them, a lot of alcohol was consumed. They used to buy IPAs for my visit. Beer tastings. Wine tastings. We would take turns at mornings of festivals providing the champagne for mimosas but usually the three of us would go through 2 bottles. While we have a friendship outside of drinking, I am really nervous being around them. I feel like stopping at AA to grab a pamphlet for them like “So Your Friend is an Alcoholic” or something similar.

Then again, they have been busy house hunting and trying to get pregnant. Maybe my sobriety is not on their radar. Maybe they did not notice or have time to comment. Maybe she is pregnant and not drinking either. I need to stop thinking everything and everyone revolves around me and my alcoholism.

Mistake 135- I was visiting the same city I am going to today a few years ago for St Patrick’s day. Since I was drinking in the park at a festival all day, I was trashed by the evening time. I went with my friends to a pub. Not sure if it was an Irish pub or not. A friend knew the band that was playing. He was a regular at this bar.

I ended up getting kicked out of the pub. I was falling all over everyone and passing out. I embarrassed my friends. My friend that was a regular was told to never bring me there again.