I moved out of my house last week because I was tired of my rude slumlord. I am going to be staying in rooms I find on AirBnB for the next two months. Yesterday was my first day.

I arrived at the house and noticed the neighborhood was not the greatest. And I was not able to park on the street in front of the house without a permit. The host of the house told me there is plenty of free parking around the corner. One side of the street said no parking on Monday. Other side said Tuesday. So I found a spot on the “no Tuesday” side since it was Monday morning. Even if the area did not look safe, it was daytime. I will be back in mid-afternoon to go to work for the night.

But it wasn’t there when I got back. I walked up and down the almost empty street. I stated to panic. I did not see my car! I called 911. The lady, in a rude tone, told me to call the non-emergency police number. I called that number. That is when I began to cry. “My car was stolen!”

This lady was not much nicer. Actually, she was pretty rude. She asked for my license plate or VIN number. When I said I didn’t know them, she said they couldn’t help. What? She can’t send a police officer out to help me? She told me to find out the VIN number and call her back. Then I remembered I took a photo of my license plate a month ago when I stayed at a hotel. I had it for filling out my hotel registration card. I asked her to please hold while I scroll my phone looking. She sighed and sounded like she didn’t believe I would find it. But I did.

I walked back around the corner to the house I was staying at to sit on the steps. I kept crying. The police station lady said “you need to calm down or I can’t help you.” I told her sorry but I am not from here and my car was stolen! She kept telling me to calm down. I said I was calmed. “You calmed down that quick?” Her sarcasm was not helpful.

She said “so you parked your car and you think it was stolen? ” YES! “Well it says here you had a parking violation.” What? I asked for what. “Oh I don’t know! Let’s see… says you parked in front of a driveway.”

I said in a surprised voice “No I did not.”
“Well YOU parked the car, right? Then YOU must have parked it in front of a driveway.”
I was now more mad at her than I was about my missing car. I know I was not in front of a driveway but maybe my car was slightly in front of one. Enough for it to be towed. I asked her how do I go about getting my car back. I swear she was smiling when she said “well you will have to wait until tomorrow. They close in 10 minutes.”

She proceeded to give me the address of the place I need to go to get a release form. Then I need to go to get my car. I did not bother to ask her how much the ticket will be. I had to pay $45 for a taxi to work. Then I will have to pay about the same to go get that release form. Not sure if the place where my car is close to the release form place. Tomorrow morning is going to suck.

But… I am happy it wasn’t stolen. I have too much stuff in there. And if I compare the cost of this to my DUIs, this is nothing. It sucks that stuff like this still happens in sobriety. I have had cars towed in the past from parking them illegally while drunk.

Maybe the rude lady assumed that was this case. “Hmpf she sleeps all day. Must have parked it drunk!”

I still think she needs some customer service training.

Mistake 132- I mentioned the other day about the first time I kissed my friend but ended up having sex with another guy that night. I hated not remembering sex with that other guy. About a month later, I apparently called him to tell him.

I was living about 300 miles away. I left him a voicemail. I do not remember calling nor the message. He actually called me the next afternoon. He asked if I was hungover. I was surprised and couldn’t figure how he knew I was drinking the previous night. “You left me the best message last night!”

Huh?

I left him a voicemail that was pretty pornographic. I told him how I wanted a “do over”. I said I wanted to have another night since I did not remember the night we had sex. I told him the things I wanted to do.

He had his friends listen to it. They all thought it was hilarious.

We never had the “do over”. We have remained aquaintances. He still likes to tease me about my voicemail I left him 10 years ago.