Less Sugar

I had a strange dream last night.  I was on a cruise-type of ship but it was also sort if like a military ship-meets- college dorm. And I think we were cruising the Bosphorus in Turkey. But I remember I walked into one room on this ship and it was full of alcohol and beautiful glasses.  It was an artistic looking bar and could create any drink I want. I looked at it and said “that is pretty but I can’t drink.  Oh well.”

It feels like my first “sober” dream. I did not drink, not try to drink, nor feel the guilt of sneaking a drink.  I have had drinking dreams before where I start to get so upset for drinking and then wake up so relieved it did not really happen. I had no desire to drink in this dream.

It has been a month since I gave up soda.  Almost four months since I gave up alcohol. I am drinking a lot of unsweetened ice tea and coffee. I have decreased the amount of sugar I put in my coffee and completely stopped artificial sweeteners.  I still crave bagels and other carbs but trying to eat fruit more. It is time for fresh fruit!

I packed up my stuff in the room I was renting.  Most of it is now stored at my mom’s house.  Things I need, such as work clothes,  gym clothes,  and daily clothes plus laptop and books will be kept with me in my car.  For the next two months,  I will either be traveling or renting rooms for a few days to few weeks.

Plus I start my online classes next week. AA meetings will not be a priority. I know I need to be vigilant to stay sober.  I feel safe with my sober bloggers. 

Mistake 117- I had a friend’s roommate that kept showing me attention. He flirted with me at parties. I liked him. I thought he was funny. But I did not want to make a move. I was worried my friend wouldn’t approve.

One night, I was drunk at a party and he offered me a ride home. I was very trashed and do not remember any of the night. I woke up still drunk the next morning with him in my bed. We had sex that night. So much for not making a move.

After he left, I found a painting in my living room. I texted him to ask what it was. He said “don’t you remember stopping at Walgreens and some guy asked for change and gave us that?” Nope, no recollection. “Yea you gave the guy $5 for it.” I was astounded that I would do that. This painting was probably stolen. He told me to hang it up to remember “our night”. But how could I remember the night with or without a painting?

After that night, he started to avoid me. Then soon he got a girlfriend. I was hurt. But I guess he didn’t want a relationship with someone that got so drunk she doesn’t even remember sex with him.

I gave the painting to Goodwill.

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