I was mentally preparing today’s blog. It was going to be about cyber support being better than Facebook friend support. I was upset that I made a post on Facebook about being 90 days sober and only got a few likes. Even the people that seem to “like” every post I make did not click like on this. It made me feel as if I had been ditched. Like no one came to my party. EVERYONE wants to steer away from the sober chick. I was being self-centered and overanalyzing and that was getting me angry.
Then I read a post realizing that one friend that will never know about my sobriety. My friend that was in a coma died today.
I regret not going to see him in January now. But I know I can not change that. I have so many regrets that I can not change. And there might be other friends that I will never see again due to changes in plans or unexpected circumstances. That is how life goes.
So what if I do not get enough “likes” on a Facebook post? I still have my life and sobriety. Also, it doesn’t mean everyone on my Facebook friends list are against my sobriety. I am sure a few are and many do not understand why I decided to do this. I hid my problem well. And there are some who prefer me as a drunk. Those are people I will not miss.
I do not need every person in the world to accept my sobriety. I just need to accept it. It is my life I am saving. And the support of a handful of real life friends has been helpful.
Last autumn, I read a book Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life (while fully clothed and totally sober by Harlan Cohen. It was good. The thing I took from it the most was that there will be thousands of people who will not like me but I need to care about the hundreds that do. I need to focus on the people that support my sobriety and not get upset over those that do not.
Thanks again to everyone who liked and commented yesterday on my 90 day anniversary.
Mistake # 91- I was at a party at my friend’s house. She lived a mile away from me. She said I got mad at one of our other friends and then disappeared. They did not notice at first. Then they could not find me when they realized I was gone. My car was still out front. They kept calling and calling my phone. I finally answered it. Turns out, I was so mad, I left and walked home. And I must have grabbed my box-of-wine and walked home holding it. I had it on my nightstand.
I do not remember leaving the party. Thankfully I got home okay.