I was mentally preparing today’s blog. It was going to be about cyber support being better than Facebook friend support. I was upset that I made a post on Facebook about being 90 days sober and only got a few likes. Even the people that seem to “like” every post I make did not click like on this. It made me feel as if I had been ditched. Like no one came to my party. EVERYONE wants to steer away from the sober chick. I was being self-centered and overanalyzing and that was getting me angry.
Then I read a post realizing that one friend that will never know about my sobriety. My friend that was in a coma died today.
I regret not going to see him in January now. But I know I can not change that. I have so many regrets that I can not change. And there might be other friends that I will never see again due to changes in plans or unexpected circumstances. That is how life goes.
So what if I do not get enough “likes” on a Facebook post? I still have my life and sobriety. Also, it doesn’t mean everyone on my Facebook friends list are against my sobriety. I am sure a few are and many do not understand why I decided to do this. I hid my problem well. And there are some who prefer me as a drunk. Those are people I will not miss.
I do not need every person in the world to accept my sobriety. I just need to accept it. It is my life I am saving. And the support of a handful of real life friends has been helpful.
Last autumn, I read a book Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life (while fully clothed and totally sober by Harlan Cohen. It was good. The thing I took from it the most was that there will be thousands of people who will not like me but I need to care about the hundreds that do. I need to focus on the people that support my sobriety and not get upset over those that do not.
Mistake # 91- I was at a party at my friend’s house. She lived a mile away from me. She said I got mad at one of our other friends and then disappeared. They did not notice at first. Then they could not find me when they realized I was gone. My car was still out front. They kept calling and calling my phone. I finally answered it. Turns out, I was so mad, I left and walked home. And I must have grabbed my box-of-wine and walked home holding it. I had it on my nightstand.
I do not remember leaving the party. Thankfully I got home okay.