I’m A Rough and Tough, Nothing’s Gonna Knock This Girl Down

No Doubt – Settle Down

I have been coming up with my “Sober Playlist”. It is something that I listen to in the car to remind me why I need to stay sober. Or when I am having a tough time with sobriety. When I want a drink, these songs remind me why would can not drink. I will post the list another day.

But I just added this song. Every since it first came out a few years ago, I used it to cheer me up when feeling down. Now, it seems to fit perfectly with my struggle to fight my drinking problem. Some lyrics that I relate to alcoholism (even though I do not think that is what Ms Stefani means the song to be about):

I’m fine (and nothing’s gonna knock this girl down)
I’m hella positive for real, I’m all good no
I’m fine (and nothing’s gonna knock this girl down)
It’s kinda complicated that’s for sure

And then:

But you can see it my eyes, you can read on my lips
I’m trying to get a hold on this
And I really mean it this time
And you know it’s such a trip
Don’t get me started
I’m trying to get a hold on this

and:

No big deal (I can handle it)
It’ll bounce off me (I can handle it)
Been around the block before, doesn’t matter anymore
Here we go again (Are you kidding me?)
Are you insane? (Are you kidding me?)
We’re underneath the avalanche so heavy again

I keep listening to it on repeat and telling myself going sober is me getting in line and settling down.

Mistake # 86 – I was living in Philadelphia. No Doubt was in concert across the river in Camden, NJ. I took a ferry across. The venue was right along the river. It was an amphitheater type of concert place that is only open in the summer. The ferry dropped you off right there.

I met up with some friends from New Jersey. We had lawn tickets. Blink 182 was the opening act. We had fun sitting on the grass, drinking, dancing, and enjoying the show. I was trashed by the time No Doubt came on stage.

I barely remember them performing. I do remember sneaking into the seated area. I think I flirted with guards to get past the ticket checkers. But I kept getting caught, escorted back out and told to return to the grass area.

My friends texted or emailed me the next day asking what happened. They said I was with them one second and then gone. They had no idea what happened to me. I woke up in my bed. I do not know if I was kicked out or left. I must have gotten the ferry back to Philly. (Thankfully they let me on the ferry and I did not fall overboard!) I must have got a taxi from the ferry dock to my house.

I do not remember how I got home and not sure what happened, but I think the fear I sometimes get of taxi drivers when I am blackout drunk stems from that night.

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