Brew Blues

I booked a flight to go to a reunion in June. Everyone just voted to have it at a brewery. And at one of my favorite breweries.

I am sort of excited to test my willpower but also worried I will fail. I will be four and half months sober by then. It will be nice to be able to handle being around alcohol one day. I just have to keep remembering that I CAN NOT DRINK! Not even one. No matter how tempting a glass of beer might be, some IPA could lead to DUI or STD or DEATH (eventually.)

And I really, really want a huge treat for one year sober. Since it will be next January,  I was starting to think of rewarding myself with a trip to Iceland to see the Northern Lights.

My brain has been having those inner battles again:

“Just one won’t hurt.”… “Who are you kidding? You won’t stop at one.”

“I can drink and not get drunk.”… “Really? You think you believe that? Why drink if that fuzzy buzz wasn’t the goal?”

“I can drink responsibly.”… “Well your arrest record would disagree with that.”

I know a lot of sober bloggers will refer to that bitch voice as Wolfie. I joined the 100 Day Challenge but have not actually read the story or meaning to Wolfie. I hope whoever that voice is, she is not joining me on my trip in June. Can I report her to TSA to keep her off the plane?

I took this photo for SoberLearning’s 120 days but did not get around to posting it. So here is a treat for you:

 

image

Mistake # 71- I went to Tijuana, Mexico with a few friends. I was living in San Diego. I was 18 years old. Got drunk on tequila and Sex on the Beach. I met a guy who went to school with my friends. He was cute. We started making out.

The rest I was told next day: the guy and I were getting hot and heavy in the bar. I don’t remember. Cops came in and took us out. They said they were going to arrest us for indecent behaviour. I started crying and begging them not to arrest us. The guy gave the cop his watch. The cop said we were free to go but had to leave Mexico right away. The guy and I left and walked to the border. Our friends found us at the bus stop on the American side waiting for them. I was passed out on the bench. They had to drag me on the bus.

Waking up the next day in my bed with a hangover was better than waking up in Mexican jail.

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4 thoughts on “Brew Blues

  1. It’s really only that first little bit where your willpower is tested, in my opinion. At the beginning, when everyone is still sober, that beer’s going to look good. But the closer to the end of the occasion you get, the more glad you’ll be to be the sober one. The thing is, how do you want to go to bed, you know? And how do you want to wake up? I’m not telling you anything you don’t know. I’m just picturing myself in your situation and musing about how I’d think myself through it.
    You can do it. You and I are similar. We’ve each written a shitload of words about getting sober. To me, each post is another little bit of insurance against a slip. It’s a reminder of what matters, and what I want to do, and what I don’t want to do. It’s a reminder of each frustration resolved without a return to booze, and of each of the reasons not to go back to booze. You’ve got a masters degree in that last one. 365 reasons isn’t beginning to do it justice.

    I tell you what. If I want to drink, I’ll think of an empty highway in the desert. If you want to drink, think of the moon. And somehow, someway, we’ll help each other via this random anonymous connection we’ve made over a shared problem, and a bunch of 1’s and 0’s, and little bit of internet magic.

  2. ❤ <3, thank you for the treat. Things got desperate here on Monday, I ran out, and neither of the stores in close proximity had them. I had 4 left, I swear these are my wine now. Now I have a stash of 3 bags. One for sharing, and two hidden.
    You will be fine on your trip as long as you load your toolbox. There are a lot of great websites with tips for staying sober while on holiday, check them out. Remember I can travel with you, so if you need anything, anytime check in. You will do great, I got through two weeks in Australia without a drop, not always easy, but I stayed the course with help from my online friends.
    I have included the Wolf story, it is very apropos for all of us drinkers.

    One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
    He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
    “One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
    “The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
    The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
    The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

    • Wow thanks for the story! I started to read her blogs when she was doing Dry July and then some after that but then I started following more sober blogs and just never got back to finding that story. I sort of want that story hanging on my way. Makes more sense now.

  3. Pingback: Reunion… Success! | 365reasons2sober

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