I want to start asking friends for stories about me drunk. Stories I might have forgotten. Things I did when blacked out. But I am not ready to start asking without explaining that I am blogging about my mistakes. I still do not want real friends to know about this. Instead, I have my journals, regrets stuck in my head, and a few reminders every now and then.

A friend emailed me asking who a certain guy was. The guy is a mutual friend of ours on Facebook. I told him the guy was my date last year at a wedding. My friend said “did I meet him? Totally drawing a blank.” I am not sure if they met or if my friend was too drunk to remember because I was wasted.

Mistake #69- I was maid of honor in the wedding. I know nothing about bridal parties nor weddings. I actually think big weddings are a big waste of money. I was asked to be maid of honor because I introduced the bride and groom.

I was more nervous than the bride. I did not feel worthy enough to be in the wedding. The other bridesmaids were from a different world than I knew. They were upper class. I felt like the Beverly Hillbillies. Nothing I did or say was right. I felt I redeemed myself when I bought champagne, juice, fruit and croissants the morning of the wedding to enjoy while we got our hair and makeup done. To curb my nerves, I made my mimosas 3/4 champagne to 1/4 juice.

I was feeling good by wedding time. I was not drunk. Just slightly buzzed. The ceremony was beautiful. Due to the fact I am a very emotional person, I cried the entire service.

After the ceremony, I went to greet friends that knew. I relaxed when I saw them. “Yes, some of my type of people!”
They all complimented me. I grabbed a signature drink during to cocktail hour before running back for wedding photos. “Might as well give me two glasses. Photos might take awhile.”

The wedding party drank champagne in between photos. I chugged my glasses. It would have been almost easier to just drink from the bottle. I was drunk by the time we were introduced at the reception.

I gave a good maid of honor speech. (Before seeing the video, I asked the couple “did I slur much?” They said no and my speech was the best. It was the most personal one. I watched it and was happy I did not fall over. I can see how people do not realize how drunk I was at times. I appear the be functioning perfectly but I know I was very drunk. Not blackout drunk but I am shocked I was walking straight.)

I remember during the other speeches, I gave drunk commentary to my date. During dinner, I kept saying how stressed I was and shared with him bridesmaid gossip. I have no idea who overheard me. The other bridesmaids? Their family?

My date was a guy I met two years before at a Sanatcon event. I invited him because he went to a lot of the same events that the bride, groom, and our friends attend. I told him I knew he would be able to mingle with our friends while I was busy with maid of honor duties. He lived two hours away so I told him he could stay at my hotel rather than drive back after the reception. I emphasize I was not expecting sex, but honestly, I was hoping for it.

The reception was fun. I have a lot of photos of my friends, the married couple and I. My date met some of my friends. I introduced him to the newlyweds. There was a lot of dancing. I was barefoot most of it because I hate heels. I hid when the bouquet was thrown. There was a wonderful show for their departure.

After the couple left, I could not find my date. I went back and looked around the grounds. I texted him. He replied that he decided to drive home. He said he did not drink much so he was sober enough to drive. I was mad. First, he did not say bye. Second, he could have told me this decision in person. And third, there went my plans to seduce him. I asked if I scared him away. He said no but I seemed to be having too much fun. He did not think I would mind.

Maybe next time I see him or run into him at an event, I will ask him about the wedding. I will ask if I said anything stupid. Did I say anything that I thought sounded charming but repelled him instead? Did my intoxicated state irritate him? Was he afraid to share a hotel room with me? And maybe he is just too nice to tell me that?

I have not talked to him since. At least I did not fall in the cake or anything like that. Just ruined a friendship.