Straight Edge friend and party friends

I just woke up at 5pm. I am getting on my night shift ritual again. I had to take a melatonin to help get me to sleep. I am not sure if that is why I had such vivid dreams.

Like most dreams, they did not follow a logical sequence. But I remember what was happening in the dream right before my alarm went off. I met up with an old friend of mine. He is super tall. He bought two small beers for himself and then a large IPA for me. He drank half of a small beer and offered that to me as a joke. I laughed and reached for the large IPA. I could almost smell the beer as if it was real. I put it to my lips, was about to taste it, and changed my mind. I put it down. I told him “no, I quit drinking.” He was about to push for me to drink it when two women stepped in between us and started to whisper to him that he shouldn’t encourage me to drink because it was obvious I was an alcoholic. He tried to argue with them that he has known me a long time so knew I was no alcoholic. Then I noticed a serenity prayer sitting on my lap. I told him I had to go. I had to get to a meeting.

This meeting was a pot luck dinner meeting and I told myself I would try to make that one every night!

Odd thing about the person I picked to be in this dream forcing me to drink: he is “Straight Edge.” Meaning he does not drink any alcohol or do drugs out of choice. He is super healthy. We have never drank together and he never encouraged anyone to drink.

I decided against announcing I was 30 days sober on Facebook. I have said things like that in the past and got comments of “but why would you torture yourself?” or other discouraging things. I also realize most of the people on my Facebook friends list are only party friends or, at most, acquaintances. Maybe at 60 or 90 days sobriety I will make a status update viewable to a select few.

Last night, I did make a semi-annoucement on Facebook. I made a post complaining about my housemates. A few people commented about housemate issues. My one friend from Malaysia said I need to find housemates that will buy me beer. I replied “I quit drinking.” He responded that world it coming to an end and Jesus and the messiah are coming back.

These are the kind of jokes I expect from my party friends. If our relationship was bonded by booze, how do I expect them to relate to me now?

Mistake # 24- I first met my Malaysian friend two years ago at a bar via other friends. We got along great. We were drunk on beer. I was fascinated that he was a gay guy living in a Muslim country. I went back to visit him a few times in his city.

A few months later, he and his group of friends had a whole weekend of parties planned. I was in a nearby country and booked my flight to stop in Kuala Lumpur on my way to another country just to party. Friday night we got super drunk. I think I drank a couple of bottles of wine. I woke up at the foot of his bed with nothing but a blanket wrapped around me. Guess I was safe hanging out with a gay guy.

The next morning, I found one of my wine bottles full with a cork missing. I did not want the wine to go bad so I started to drink it. For breakfast. Eh… I was on vacation! This was okay. (But also common for me. I am used to working nights so that made it okay.) We went to lunch with a group of his friends. I drank two large beers. Then we went to Saturday’s party. It was a little outside of the city in a jungle with hot tubs. There I switched to Barcardi and Diet Coke. I carried my own large bottles of both. I ended up in the pool with a guy. I ended up topless. In a Muslim country! Yes it is more liberal than some middle eastern countries but I am pretty sure I could have ended up in jail for that. To this day, his friends remember me as the crazy American girl who showed her boobs.

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7 thoughts on “Straight Edge friend and party friends

    • I’ve been lucky to be able to travel to a lot of countries but made a lot of dumb mistakes with getting drunk in other cultures and places I didnt know. I was actually thinking of going to Saudi to work for a year as sort of a rehab. My mom would freak out.

  1. My older sister told me something years ago that at the time I thought was ridiculous. Now I know she was dead right. I do not know where she got that wisdom from. But, she said to me…”be careful what information you share with people, only tell deep secrets to others that you know truly Love You”. Wow….Where on earth did she get that higher knowledge from? I find I suffer from “diarrhea of the mouth “, I just want to keep the coverstation going and for people to like me… Than suddenly I realize that I have said too much. I would rather be stranded on a desert island with all recovering alcoholics than a bunch of drinkers in all stages of their drinking. At least I would be amongst people that Love Me. If you put that private information on facebook you may be met with a variety of comments and quite frankly a platform for gossip.
    I Love your posts. Very thought provoking.

    • Thank you! Yea I find I talk a lot and share too much. I find it hard to relate to most women my age cause they usually want to talk about marriage and kids and neither interest me. I guess I try to find other ways to stand out.
      It is hard to watch some people post too much about drinking and getting drunk and how healthy alcohol is. It makes me feel alienated.

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