I am not really a fan of Russell Brand. But I found this article about addiction excellent. It is from March 2013 but it is relevant to me now.

Russell Brand on heroin, abstinence and addiction.

Some of my favorite quotes from the article are:

But the price of this is constant vigilance, because the disease of addiction is not rational.

…what was surprising was that my reaction was not one of gratitude for the positive changes I’ve experienced. Instead I felt envious of this earlier version of myself, unencumbered by the burden of abstinence. 

I have been questioning whether I really have a PROBLEM. I told a friend last night I was quitting for 365 days and then I plan to reevaluate my drinking. Maybe blogging about 365 mistakes will answer my question.

Mistake # 9: One of my favorite writers is David Sedaris.  I had tickets to go see his book reading last year.  I got there early and waited in line for an hour to get his autograph. I chatted with the two women in front of me.  The three of us took turns holding our spot while one would go get drinks.  I got tipsy in that waiting line.  I was drunk when I got his autograph and forgot all the things I planned to say when it was my turn.

I grabbed two more drinks before going to my seat in the auditorium.  Double rum and cokes. Two drinks for me. I had a friend meeting me but she was a late. Those drinks helped keep me from sobering up. I always felt if I started to lose my buzz, I could not get back to the same level of intoxication.

After Mr Sedaris finished the readings, there was another long line for autographs. I had mine. The bar in the building was closed. So while my friend waited, I left to go search for a place to get a drink. I was desperate to hold onto that high. The lack of bars in that area was frustrating. I found a place where I was able to get one drink to chug. It was either another rum and coke or wine.

When I got back to the book signing line, my friend was almost up to the front. I stood next to her. As she got her book signed, I slurred a question to him asking for writing advice. He said “write everyday.”

I cherish the book he signed but really regretted the state I was in. I went to a party afterwards and kept that alcohol high going until I blacked out.